How to tell your dad your gay
Coming out to your parents: Advice from Riyadh Khalaf and Amelia Abraham
Remember there’s nothing wrong with you
“The time is coming for you to finally approach out. It’s a scary thing I know but remember, there’s nothing false with you, there’s nothing that needs to be changed about you”, says Riyadh Khalaf.
Don’t rush the coming out process
“If you feel that now is the time [to enter out] because a partner has told you it’s the time or because you’ve been watching a load of drag race, and you think that you want to be just like them, that’s fine but you will know in your heart when it feels right”, advises Riyadh Khalaf. “It’ll never feel easy but it will feel right.”
Amelia Abraham suggests you could “practice [coming out] on someone else you grasp first.” She adds, “for me personally, I told a couple of my friends before I told my parents.
“I had so much fear about how they would react and they were completely compassionate and understanding and accepting. They were a petite bit surprised but they were very accepting.
“That made me realise that a lot of my avoid, not
Coming Out to Your Parents
This journey can be challenging to navigate. We can help.
Before we share more with you &#; understand this:
- You are supported.
- You matter.
- You are loved.
Deciding to come out to your parents.
With some people in your life, telling them you’re gay, lesbian, pansexual, transgender, or queer will feel casual and uncomplicated, while with others the conversation may feel fancy a game-changer.
This page bids ideas for coming out to parents, because this usually feels like one of those “big deal” moments. But these tips can help you reflect through how talk to anyone about your sexual orientation or gender individuality, whether at work, university, or with friends.
One ask we ask parents on this website is, “knowing what you know today, would you want your child to ‘stay in the closet’?” The reply over and over is “No.” But that doesn’t mean there was no struggle before getting to acceptance.
So we will serve you with how to come out, responses depending on how people react, and resources for both you and your parents. If you would like to download this reference, sign up to accept our FREE PDF version of our Coming Out Guide.
- Think ahead about how you
“You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on. But you can’t. Your child is gay. This goes against everything you’ve been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong.”
When you change into a parent, you understand to expect the unexpected. But for many Christian parents, nothing can ready them to hear that their beloved child is gay. This is the child you have cradled, spoon fed mashed bananas, and dreamed a lovely future for. How could this be? What will the church say? What will your friends say? What does the future hold? You can’t even get your head around this.
If you are a Christian parent, family member or friend to whom your loved one has come out as same-sex attracted or lesbian, then this is for you.
I summon you to sit down, relax, maybe get a cup of tea, and soak in what I’m about to tell you. My hope is to guide you as we walk for a bit through this maze of confusion, to help you find your way to wholeness. In many Christian circles, this is not good news, and you may begin to spiral into reflection and self-searching. We’ll get to that. But at the bottom of it all, this is not about you. Most parents’ first mistake is to mak
How to Come Out to Your Parents at Any Age
It’s ultimately on your terms
Who you reveal or don’t tell, which words you use, how you talk about your orientation — that’s all up to you. It’s your life, your orientation, your identity, and it should be on your terms.
If you don’t want to come out at all, that’s fine—- it doesn’t mean that you’re any less valiant than those who are out.
It’s an ongoing, never-ending process
Because society assumes everyone is heterosexual unless stated otherwise, you’ll likely have to have to come out a lot over the course of your life.
Many people will assume you’re vertical, which means you may have to correct dozens of people throughout your lifetime. As such, “coming out” typically isn’t a single event, but something you do over and over again.
This can be pretty exhausting. But remember, it’s on your terms entirely. If you don’t feel like correcting them, that’s OK. If you don’t feel secure enough to talk about your orientation, you don’t have to.
It’s your orientation, your identity, and your decision.
Sian Ferguson is a freelance penner and editor based in Grahamstown, South Africa. Her writing covers issues relati
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